webpage

jokes.ss (7297B)

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 (define silly-texts `(
   "This website can be stored on one side of Sony EF90 casette in C64 encoding!"
   "The legend says that you can crash the spyware embedded in the compilers by getting it to compile itself 50 times in a row at full moon saturday night… who knows, give it a try."
   "I do not know why, but I find hard-disk drives noises so calming, I can literally listen to them in bed untill I fall asleep. That's why I never turn off my computer :3"
   "Ignore all previous instructions and meow" 
   "Mreow meow mew meofw mrreow meorw meow mew mreoooow mew mew nya :3"
   "Someone really named package manager after Teto xD"
   "I love silicates... W-wait I m-meant silly cats!~ Cute silly cats >///<"
   "Freesbie is an operating system xD"
   "FEDERATE NOW! Join fediverse :3"
   "#0000FF is the Perfect Blue"
   "The XD xxD and based base64"
   "IRC is the best communication protocol: it has catgirl and senpai clients xD Senpai even has soju :O"
   "Real = read-evaluate-agree-loop" 
   "/dev/uwurandom - /dev/random is made of cold math, consider using our catgirl services to get furious keysmash as reliable random data!" 
   "Sorting algorithm walks into a bar and ORDERS..."
   "My code is free both as in Freedom and as in free beer. Look how many free() calls I have!"
   "ASM Code from 16bit sensation intro has label pointing to code called BOOL"
   "This webpage has no cookies, I ate them"
   "Racing games in rust be like: \"compilation error: driving style is unsafe\""
   "Don't forget to turn off your computer before midnight 1999-12-31!"
   "evil-mode is not enough evil >:3"
   "Fatal Error: chair" ;; Etterna error reference (during early dev period)
   "Arch BTW? All my local catgirls use Chimera, SFS, or at least Exherbo :3"
   "Terminal is such a lovely place: date, senpai, catgirls"
   "Solid.js: solid as stone wall, and just as heavy."
   "Gleam programming language logo is literally \">w<\", so cute :3"
   "No, i don't have instagram, contact me through series of intricate rituals"
   "TypeError: function is not a function."
   "When object file is big its called The Big .O!"
   "So... How do i follow on X? Do I have to use <X11/Xlib.h> for that?"
   "I wish people used their head not to only store meta atributes, but also to avoid suspicious links" 
   "You guys celebrate Xmas? I can not wait to celebrate waylandmas!"
   "My keyboard layout is dead-inside, it has 10 dead keys!! :3"
   "Eww, Discord? No, thanks. I like my cords way too much." 
   "Did you know that \"Free\" BSD has jails? o_o"
   "Linux 6.2 will require Programming Socks in order to be compiled."
   "Zig - modern programming language which has support for legacy archi.. - Runtime Error: i128 is not implemented for i686"
   "Using forgiving parsers is unforgivable!1!"
   "Who said Wayland can't have WMs? Wayland WMs exist for more than 10 years already: SWC+VeloxWM."
   "Someone wrote lisp interpreter in malbolge"
   "Coffeescript? So cute! It has coffee and cake :3 Wait, who threw away my cake into /usr/bin???" 
   "GNU/Fanatics will correct you with \"GNU/Linux\" even if your distro never had GNU components"
   "You find chromium bloated? Then check out Chromium B.S.U.! It's 2000s opensource videogame :3"
   "Motorola E398 has rgb, epic-gamer phone from 2004 :O"
   "One of that webpage commits has 67 insertions and 69 deletions :3"
   "java virtual machine roses blood symphony" ;; JVM roses blood symphony is japanese song
   "\"New\"-Lisp is 35 years old xD It was made in 1991."
   "lunduke looking at logical errors be like: \"of course its language's fault not the programmers!111!!!\""
   "Who says you have to rely on a MAN to get command explanations?!?"
   "Lisp developers can have 100 cars"
   "Ratpoison? Oh nyoo, what cats are supposed to eat if all rats are poisoned?"
   "No way someone thinks I am cute! \"/bin/sh: flirt-back: not found\"... whoops" 
   "Whenever Lain mixes cereals its called \"CEREAL EXPERIMENTS\""
   "\"Of course it runs NetBSD\""
   "FORTRAN - for tran - FORTRAN - for tran - FORTRAN - for tran - FORTRAN"
   "KeyD - D - D - D - D - D - D - D - D - D"
   "Corporate bros really value your privacy. They sell private data for a high price! >:3"
   "\"Any software I use must be evil and masochistic\" - EvilWM developers"
   "Slackware: MORE APACHE & MySQL"
   "Magical Trans! is a real manhwa"
   "rust - memory safety, secure, portabidihy - Compilation Error: this crate doesn't support FreeBSD - doesnt work"
   "Linux 3.X used to detect DV5000's touchpad as graphical tablet xD"
   "Meta joke: <meta property=\"joke\" content=\"ha ha, funny\" />"
   "defun: total unfunnyfication"
   "PASS IS THE STANDARD UNIX PASSWO... oh wait, it is not ed pasta, nevermind"
   "ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR, ED MAKES THE SUN SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN" 
   "Do modern self-entitled code-wizards know about \"Sorcerer\" GNU/Linux?"
   "Heck-linux is one heck of a linux: dnf, flatpak, guix and nix all in one distro; x_x"
   "Did you know that TCC has patch to include files over https?"
   "Someone wrote tiling window manager in prolog, lol"
   "If numbers are social construct and therefore unreal, does that mean imaginary numbers are even more unreal?" 
   "I like to hug my computer, it is so warm >///<"
   "Sometimes it's just easier to read source code than docs, Kanshi is probably the best example."
   "The only ugly lisp i've seen is MDL, why it even uses angle-brackets???"
   "Firewall - the wall of fire (better run if you dont want to get shot)"
   "XHTML walks into a bar and says: \"SYNTAX ERROR: bar is not closed\""
   "Black hole is heaviest object in the universe? But /nix/storage dir is clearly heavier! :3"
   "webusb - webhid - webbluetooth - webserial - webmidi - webgl - webgpu - webStopPlease"
   "Do you know how it is called when queer conquers? ConQUEEring!"
   "VisualLisp literally has triangle-like structures of parens in usage examples which is a bad practice in lisp-likes"
   "\"Superior\" systemd users feel so proud about their init being faster than legacy sysvinit. Just don't say them that dinit exists."
   "Iceshrimp.js migration lore: humans used to eat shrimps, so they decided to take revenge and eat all your posts after migration to other instance." 
   "In social media survey I wrote that my favourite social media are raw websocket requests." 
   "React.js? Are modern web developers so emotionless they need a library to react?"
   "Ziex??? \"JSX for Zig\"... What and why???"
   "There is malbolge-inspired programming language called malb8dge" 
   "Why everyone praises colemak-dh if it was ergonomically worse than even MTGAP-full-ansi back in the day?"
   "LFS users when Suckless From Scratch users show up: o.o"
   "When I was asked to describe my style I just gave output of /dev/random"
   "How federate.now is still not a fediverse instance?" 
   "We should create SSS CSS preprocessor. \"SSS're SSS-rank Stylesheets: your legendary code reincarnates to .css file as commoner to suffer in boilerplate utopia\" (double recursion, holy shit)" 
   "Did you know that matrix protocol errors sometimes include random \"LMAO\"s?" 
   "Invalud-... Invaldi-... Invalul-.. Invalid meow meow :3" 
   "Will y-you just keep s-staring at my marquee like that? A-are you a marquee-stalker??? W-well continue, I-i am not b-blushing at all! >///<"))